I Need Your Help (Please)
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20100409
I Need Your Help (Please)
So I want to begin a discussion that is as civil and polite as possible on a subject matter that is highly sensitive. Let me start by saying that I am pretty much, 99.9% sure that my suitemate (and roommate next year), Matt, is gay (for those that have met him via his intrusions into my skype chats you are probably saying "duh" right now). I have suspected this for a while, but really didn't want to bring it up because it isn't something that is often talked about in normal conversations. The reason that I bring it up is because as the end of the year approaches I, someone who does not drink, finds myself spending most of my time with Matt, because he doesn't drink as well. The problem is that I am not the best of friends with Matt, in fact, I personally dislike him, because he is (for lack of a better word) "bitchy", he is manipulative, he is annoying, gets in my personal space (which is as you all know, something you should not attempt with me), he is unethical, and on a random, but related note, a passionate anti-environmentalist (in other words he wouldn't mind, in fact wishes, that everything between Milwaukee and Madison was developed with suburbs).
The fact remains; however, that he is one of the few people I know of on campus who does not spend their weekend partying from dusk til dawn and so I am caught with being alone on weekends, abandoning my social principles and go drinking, or going out to eat with Matt every weekend. (My dorm does not have weekend meal service). In addition, I agreed to be his roommate next year because he is A. quiet and B. Shares many of my interests. Regardless, I, who has always considered myself pro-gay rights in recent years, cannot help but be concerned about my reputation, my image, and perceptions of me (like in regards to dating). I therefore have asked you all to please give me some advice on what I should do and how I should handle the question of addressing his sexuality, if at all. I myself, have no problem with his sexuality, but I do have concerns for my social life and that of my perception. I hope you all can supply meaningful, understanding, and non-bigoted advice; and I do hope this did not come off as anti-gay.
Thanks in advance,
Drew
The fact remains; however, that he is one of the few people I know of on campus who does not spend their weekend partying from dusk til dawn and so I am caught with being alone on weekends, abandoning my social principles and go drinking, or going out to eat with Matt every weekend. (My dorm does not have weekend meal service). In addition, I agreed to be his roommate next year because he is A. quiet and B. Shares many of my interests. Regardless, I, who has always considered myself pro-gay rights in recent years, cannot help but be concerned about my reputation, my image, and perceptions of me (like in regards to dating). I therefore have asked you all to please give me some advice on what I should do and how I should handle the question of addressing his sexuality, if at all. I myself, have no problem with his sexuality, but I do have concerns for my social life and that of my perception. I hope you all can supply meaningful, understanding, and non-bigoted advice; and I do hope this did not come off as anti-gay.
Thanks in advance,
Drew
I Need Your Help (Please) :: Comments
Re: I Need Your Help (Please)
It didn't come off as anti-gay, if that's what you fear. This is quite the predicament, and I don't know what to tell you. It's certainly something that most people don't have occur to them, so this is quite unique. Most people don't hang out all the time with their roommates (heck, most people I know strongly dislike their roommate), so you could always play that card. In fact, he sounds like an asshole.
See what other people say. I'm very bad at the whole advice stuff.
See what other people say. I'm very bad at the whole advice stuff.
See and I know this sounds horrible, but it is, I guess, the truth. I basically have only like 1 or 2 friends on campus. Who else am I supposed to room with? Wanting a roommate who doesn't drink is VERY hard to come by and my life really sucks right now
It does sound a bit anti-gay to me, to be honest. If his sexuality is what makes you unsure of what you should do, then live with him. It really isn't a big deal and anyone that would think differently of you for that probably wouldn't be friends with you anyway. If you want to live with someone else because you just don't like being around him, then live with someone else.
Sexuality should be a non issue. You might even be able to spin it into a positive when you're hunting down some poon tang.
Sexuality should be a non issue. You might even be able to spin it into a positive when you're hunting down some poon tang.
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