1 USAGS 3: United States v. The City of Boston and associated sports institutions and the Miami Dolphins

The New England Patriots, and by association all sports franchises of the Boston area, are in violation of a great many laws and are Unconstitutional in nature.

The 2nd Amendment states - "A well regulated milita... shall not be infringed." But the New England Patriots are not a well regulated militia!! Their constant, flagrant cheating demonstrates a lack of regulation, and they have often infringed upon the rights of other militias, including (but not limited to) the national guard, the air force, the army, the navy, and local police who are forced to work at their games and perform traditionalist duties at major events (i.e. The Super Bowl). While other teams exist as a group of individuals, and therefore are not responsible for the inclusion of militias in their trivial events, the Patriots insist upon being introduced "as a team", officially designating them as a militia and making them collectively responsible for actions of those working the game.

The 3rd Amendment states - "No soldier shall - in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner" Does Tom Brady not live in a house? Do the Miami Dolphins not live in a house? Because owner has a capitalized O, it clearly implies God, who is not a Patriots fan - evidenced by their need to sin and cheat to win - and He is also not a Dolphins fan - because he is not a Cuban illegally hiding in the United States. We cannot be sure of His favorite team, but we can rule out at least and only those two.

These two infringements upon Constitutional rights clearly show the need to outlaw the Patriots and Dolphins - but they are not the only offenders. The city of Boston is responsible for the financial support of knowing law-breakers (the Patriots) and the arrogant, visible support of their cheating ways.

Other sports teams in Boston violate Article 1, Section 9 - "The Migration or Importation of Such Persons as any of the States Now Existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the year One Thousand Eight Hundred and Eight." Seeing as it is now past 1808, it is clear through simple interpretation, that anyone alive today was birthed after 1808 and after 1808 Congress prohibits the migration or importation of Persons. Now look at the Red Sox and the Bruins - there are Dominicans and Canadians there! What could be less American? These franchises must be eliminated until they compyl fully with the Constitution.

For a team to be considered guilty and outlawed because of this, the city must first be called into question. As we can only judge Boston as a city defying Constitutional law, only its franchises can be dissolved through the argument of Article 1, Section 9.

So, for AgentW to judge there are: 1) The New England Patriots. 2.) The Miami Dolphins 3.) The city of Boston 4.) The Boston Bruins 5.) The Boston Red Sox.

Please, let justice prevail!

1) UNCONSTITUTIONAL
2) UNCONSTITUTIONAL
3) UNCONSTITUTIONAL
4) UNCONSTITUTIONAL
5) UNCONSTITUTIONAL, did I mention, UNCONSTITUTIONAL

I would like to thank the President for bringing the offenders to the Supreme Court so that Justice could be served. Salvant et saepe

I'm a Red Sox fan but hate all other New England sports. You forgot the Celtics, BTW.

That was absolutely hilarious.