Hello, my name is Alex and I...

- am self destructive.
- cannot type properly.
- keep doing things I should not do.
- have officially been published in the White Squirrel! and have been invited to said publicaton's LAUNCH PARTY, where I may finally get to meet Connie, who Ben has been in love with since October.
- cannot focus on my schoolwork like a Good Girl should.
- am not a good girl at all, really, based on my behaviour as of late.
- had a dance party all by myself to chase the melancholy away.
- am happy on my own.
- am still trying to convince myself of the validity of the previous statement.
- has a secret love with Yuko.
- handed out FREE CANDY today as an act of kindness.
- have made new friends.
- have lost some friends?
- REFUSE TO HOLD RAMAPRIYA'S HAND. THAT WILL NOT BE MY ACT OF KINDNESS. I WILL NOT BE YOUR SICKNESS. It's not my problem if he's never held hands with a girl, even if Yuko and Jason want to make him my project. J'refuse.
- have a sickness of the head, named Utter Confusion.
- is still Battling the Melancholy, in general.
- came up with several different theories re: time the other day.
- love Borges.
- cannot stop listening to Ellie Goulding, especially "Under the Sheets." "Like all the boys before, like all the boys boys boys boys..."
- is a bull in a china shop.
- have trouble trusting myself due to a lack of self control.
- could have done something last night, but something stopped me. What was it, and why?

Why?
Why?
Why?
That word rings through my head like never before. I keep doing things I really Should Not, not that they're like illegal or anything but I know that if I continue to do them then somebody's going to get hurt. Not even hurt. There are about five to six weeks left of the semester and if you don't Get Your Act Together then you're going to end up in a sticky mess of stuff. And you don't want to stay that way ALL SUMMER, DO YOU.
Do what your father says and get a job. Maybe then he'll see you as a Really Useful Engine instead of being the lazy no-good--

No, hang on, you're NOT no-good.
You are, in fact, a quite powerful girl who just happens to be in a bit of a muddle.
You are not worthless, you are not a Bad Girl. You are quite wonderful, actually, and you're not a no-good whatever-it-was-that-you-were-going-to-write.
You're just muddled. You're just muddled.
Remember that it's going to get better because it can't get worse from here on out.