Okay. So my goal is to ultimately apply to grad school at Cambridge, yes?

Holy holyness. SO EXPENSIVE.

I keep worrying that I will never be able to get in because I'm not as smart as other people who are entering. I want to get it so badly -- I want to be able to study in England and not in the sort of "just a semester" thing. I don't want to be a "stupid American student" who thinks she knows what she's doing or anything like that. I want to be a person who can do this.

I still don't know where I live. Nowhere seems to feel like home. Buffalo seems more like home than here, I feel like a foreigner in England, I feel even MORE like a foreigner here, and yet I wonder if my desire to visit Buffalo is more fuelled by nostalgia than anything else. I feel like I'm having a major midlife crisis, except I'm not old.

It is also worth noting that the song I wanted to win Eurovision did. SO CATCHY. SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO CATCHY. "Like a satellite, I'm in orbit all the way around you..."