Year 32 Presidential Debate

So we have decided to once again have a debate where candidates will each answer 5 questions (1 each from our former Presidents) and then after that a round for responses. The debate as always will be scored by Former President Luke Wachob. Whoever answers the questions first will also be allowed to respond first. In advance thank you to Former President Wachob, Former President Sheldon, Former President Rogers, and Former President Lustig.

MAKE IT SEXY!

Hells yeah, lets do it!

AMERICA! I repeat, AMERICA!

Here are the questions as posed to both President Epp and Chief Justice Gordon from your former Presidents:

1. What is your name? What is your quest? What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

2. What policies are you looking to do during this coming term?

3. If elected as President, how would you work to balance public appeal and your agenda?

4. Most citizens agree that every President after Luke Wachob has been terrible and has sucked and has been a sniveling little bitch. How do you plan to be less bitch-like and more awesome, like President Wachob?

5. What qualities do you look for in an executive and which do you intend to embody?

I wonder who wrote question four. And Lustig, you're not funny.

1. My name is His Holiness Lucas F. Epp, PhD - Master of Epic Lulz. My quest is to destroy terrorism and control the masses through propaganda. African or European?

2. With this great simulation coming to an end I would like to fill this forum with lulz. That is what the FTL party is all about. I have been discussing some plans with the JCS, however these are highly classified.

3. My agenda is very appealing. I am a very attractive person and, because of that, my mind is very attractive. Everyone will love my ideas and love me because they are full of win.

4. We all know that one can not be as great as the greatest man to ever walk this Earth, Luke Wachob. However, I would work to get rid of Congress and form an oligarchy to make legislation pass faster. This would be the best way to make this government truly efficient. I cannot disclose more as I said in question two because these plans are very highly classified. It's a matter of national security and as such I can't say much.

5. I look for someone who is strong. Someone who is not afraid to do what's right even if it's unpopular. I plan on being exactly that in this coming term.

1. Hello, I am Dr. Chief Justice Casey "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" Gordon, host of the PBS show "A Child's Guide to the Court." My quest is to let all other know that in fact, all their bases do indeed belong to us, with is being the collective Americans. This last part of the question is highly unquantifiable and due to such erroneous and egregious errors of the author, I shall decline to answer until all terms have been identified and clarified to let a response be known.

2.Well first of all, I would like to let the people know that I am looking out for their well being in all regards from dinosaur threats to the clarity of beaches. I am also hoping to form a new cabinet position and a department, the Department of Dinosaur Affairs led by the Secretary of Dinosaurs. This would be to help forward synergy between the dinosaur and human population of America and of the greater world. I am hoping that Dr. Alan Grant will accept my nomination if these plans come to fruition.

3. With a fulcrum of course. And the public appeal is my agenda.

4. Well, I can't say anything about the previous presidents, but what I can say is Dinosaurs and America. I'll leave the rest up to you for now.

5. I believe this should say a lot about a presidency that I would believe in. Standing up and fighting for America. Much like President Michael Wilson after his Vice President attempted a coup. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZVmtDuMxAA

Score time!

First up, Master of Epic Lulz!

1. Honesty is the best policy – way to be up front! However, playing along with Lustig’s stupid Python reference may cost you a point. Not because of Python, just because of Lustig.
2. FTL… sexy, if perhaps detrimental to the good of the people. Which is also sexy.
3. I feel like this response is the beginning of the propaganda previously mentioned.
4. Correct! And secretive! Mysterious Truth is a wonderful mixture, indeed.
5. I have nothing to say.

Umm, I’ll grade you with a B+.

Next, The Chief Justice!

1. Good answer and refusing to recognize Lustig is a wonderful trait for a leader to have!
2. Interesting. Dr. Grant is a great American indeed.
3. SCIENCE!
4. Hmmm, not quite what I was hoping for.
5. Bold enough, I suppose.

I’ll grade you with a &#%.

I think question 5 sucked, by the way.

Just so everyone knows, although some are obvious the questions were written as follows:
1. President Lustig
2. President Sheldon
3. President Rogers
4. President Wachob
5. President Hanna